sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Be still, my beating vagina.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize