my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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