I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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