ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
