Yo dont text me then not text me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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