you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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