Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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