After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
