Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize