I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
