drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
