I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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