Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It was confusing and full of hummus
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
