ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
dude. I can hear the air.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
