Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
