i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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