This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
