when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
