Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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