thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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