youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
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dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
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I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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