i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
