Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I looked at my own cervix.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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