I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
