My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize