I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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