Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
