I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize