So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
