Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
