Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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