who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
