I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
