Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
