so let's talk penis.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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