I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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