69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
