took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
