you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize