Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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