Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I need to calm my uterus...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize