boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
