all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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