her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
