You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
