If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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