Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my sisters under your porch take her home
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I want her autograph on my taint
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle