I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.