she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door