i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!