I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?