btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
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You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
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Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.