Don't you send me to vm
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Drunk is not a location!