butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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