Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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