He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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