i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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