I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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