And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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