and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i need an iv and a liver transplant
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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