His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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