nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
