im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
