that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
