Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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