Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
