ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize