My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
