We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
