there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
