I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We are all done wearing pants today
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
