you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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