hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
