The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
