I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
